True Self

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I had made arrangements to meet with a group of women this morning to go running.  It was a further distance than I had gone in a while and I only really knew one person in the group.  I was feeling a little nervous, but more excited to try something new.

Well, after dreaming all night that I would mess up the alarm and miss the group...that's exactly what happened!!  I went to bed later than I had wanted to, and somehow after setting the alarm I never turned it on.  I was supposed to meet everyone at 6:00 am but I didn't wake up until 5:56!  I rushed out the door, only to get there too late.  *Sniff, Sniff*

So I drove home and just went running by myself.  Which was fine.  I'm perfectly comfortable "talking" to myself.  There's just something extra nice to run with someone else. To create that social connection or bond and share in each other's experiences.  It makes the whole thing much more rewarding.

I have started to really love waking up early--how demented is that?!  I never thought I would ever feel this way, but there is something about getting up before the world does.  It makes me happy.  It feels me with a peaceful calm that helps me feel like I really can accomplish all that I need and want to do.  Crazy, I know.

Since I was on my own, I thought I would expand my usual route.  I wasn't sure how far I was going to end up running.  I just wanted to try.  It was a beautiful morning and since we can't seem to shake 100 degree weather these days I was grateful to be outside when the weather was actually very pleasant.  There is one thing that I need to figure out though.  It doesn't matter how often I use the bathroom before I go running.  It never fails that a few minutes into my run I have to go again. Who would have ever thought that I would actually wish there was an outhouse nearby?!

Anyway, I digress.  After I got home I used mapmyrun.com and figured out that I had run 4.7 miles.  For some reason that makes me a feel a little disappointed.  Who knows why?  I just was hoping to have run a little further.  That's definitely something to think about for next time.  O.k. please do not misunderstand me.  I am in no way, shape, or form, some running superwoman--I got passed by plenty of those this morning.  It's just that as I've gotten older I have found that I really enjoy running.  I feel better when I do it, especially after reading about it a little and changing my posture as I run. If you would have told me a couple of years ago that I would actually look forward to waking up early (on a Saturday) to go run a few miles, I would have told you that you were smoking crack.  For years I felt like I could never do that or that I would never do that.  But now, something has changed.  I've stopped listening to that voice.  Maybe I'm just more in tune with my true self.  For me, there is something to facing a challenge head on, pushing through to the other side to look back and say, "Look what I just did." It's a great feeling.

Now, on to the rest of my busy Saturday.